Actually, that’s a lot of coffee.

Posted: January 17, 2012 in Writing
Tags: , ,

Today is the day I take on the coffee challenge, as set by

To be fair, I don’t think she really meant it as a challenge, but that was how I took it.

I drink a fair bit of coffee. I find few greater pleasures than a double macch,  a fresh screen to write on, and the chance to eavesdrop on the weirdoes that hang out in coffeebars. So Sandyshoes took down fourteen shots of joe in 6 hours. Bring it on, Baby.

Coffee 1 – I’ve been awake ten minutes.


Double espresso, made with my totally awesome Nespresso machine. I’m no corporate shill, but this bad boy changed my life! How do people who don’t drink coffee start the day? Maybe drugs.

Coffee 2 – Kids dropped at school.


Double macchiato. I’ve got a little more time now so I’ve made myself a macch. Note Stonehenge in the background. It’s a model, so that’s not a fifteen metre high coffee, in case you were confused

Coffee 3 – Time to write.


Double macch. Hitting up Costa for a couple of hours writing. Currently working on next novel: working title Voodoo Economics. I think the caffeine is helping this morning – wrote a good thousand words; a nice little scene where one of the characters has just been hit over the head with a bottle of beer by his girlfriend- you know, in a nice way.

Coffee 4 – Coffee Circus; never been to this place before.


Double macch. I’ve wanted to come into this nice little indy Cafe in Crouch End central for a while. I came in once before with my kids, but had to leave when my olfactorally hyper-sensitive son, shouted “this place smells bad”, as soon as we were through the door.

It’s one of those quirky, let’s-fill-the-place-with-old-crap-that-people-might-find-endearing, joints. The coffee is a little lemony for my taste.  There are also some slightly odd goings-on with a bearded guy, that I can’t help noticing. He is kind of chatting up the young girl sitting next to me, using her dog (yes, dog in a cafe – this on its own is enough to deter me from returning to Coffee Circus, before we get to the aforementioned ‘goings-on’), as a point of mutal interest. From what I can work out, joining the conversation mid-flow, she has borrowed the dog(!) and he is tentatively offering to help her walk him, you know, in case that turns out to be a bit tricky. The bearded guy seems to be somehow connected to the cafe without obviously working there or appearing like her owns the place; he seems not to have his own drink anywhere, comes off as very much ‘at home’ and keeps disappearing into the staff only area to masturbate furiously*. He’s creeping me out a little, and the girl starts to sense  it too, because she and the borrowed dog soon head off. I’ve been distracted from writing by this little scene and to be honest I’m starting to feel a little wired from the coffee now.

Okay, that last coffee has hit me hard. I’m calling it a day. That’s 8 shots of espresso, barely half what Sandyshoes managed. Respect to you Coffee girl. Don’t think I’ve thrown in the towel though; I’m gonna train hard and try it again some day soon.

*authorial postulate.

  1. TrishaDM says:

    Wow! I love coffee, but I think this would have made me climb the walls. I too enjoy eavesdropping on coffee bar weirdoes while writing or reading. Unfortunately, that causes me to wonder whether or not I am one of those weirdoes to them.

  2. […] Actually, that’s a lot of coffee. […]

  3. Mary Christa says:

    Hey, I worked as a barista for three years, so I have a slight edge. Nice job, and I look forward to further attempts!

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